The following conversation is based on several actual events although accounts have been fictionalized and names changed.
“He sat on my desk.”
“He sat on your desk.” I repeated.
“Yes.”
“He also apparently visited my desk while I was out yesterday.”
“Oh, what do you…what?”
“He used my dry eraser markers to write me a message on my dry erase board.”
“Oh, okay, well, have you asked him not to sit on your desk?”
“No, that’s kind of uncomfortable. I did purchase a plant and placed it on the corner where he likes to sit.”
“Oh, well, that was good—”
“He moved it and sat down anyway.”
“Oh my gosh, well, at least that’s a little funny.”
“Then, I bought one of those little decorative cacti, I shit you not, and he sat on it.”
“He sat on the cactus?”
“He did.”
“Then, I dragged one of those big leafy potted floor plants in from the foyer, and I put that beside my desk to block it.”
“Ok, well that was proactive. Did that help?”
“Nope.”
“Ok, I’m going to talk to him, I’m sorry this has been going on for so long.”
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“Hey uh, Good morning, Joey, I need to talk with you about something. Do you have a minute?”
“Oh, great, I sure do! I’m ready for anything.”
“Ok, ok, well, you know how Jenna really needs her space respected? Do you remember we talked about this…like maybe a few weeks ago?”
“Oh, gosh, yeah, is something the matter? Did someone get in her space?”
“Joey—”
“Joey, you keep sitting on her desk…when you come into the office and kind of talk to all of us at the same time. Her desk is right there, and you just kind of sit on it.”
“Oh no…”
“Listen, don’t feel bad. I know this is awkward. Don’t feel bad, just don’t sit on her desk, ok?”
“Oh my gosh, I’m so embarrassed.”
“Don’t—be embarrassed. It’s okay, just try not to sit on…like Jenna’s desk.”
“Okay, should I talk to her?”
“Oh, gosh, no that’s sweet. Please don’t mention it to her. She is very sweet, and she doesn’t want to make a fuss. Everything is fine. Just as long as you…you know.”
“I won’t sit on her desk. Thank you so much for telling me.”
“No worries, thank you for listening. Everything’s good.”
——————————————
Next week…
Joey enters the office. Begins talking. Sits on the lunch table.
END OF PLAY
Rocks & Roots 